Everybody Lies
by Rennie75
Summary: Follows 2x17 (Birds of Prey), kinda angsty - various POVs as I explore current S2 darkness and Team dynamics. Somewhat in character but I do reserve the right to add Olicity whenever I can! Ch 1 is Thea, Ch 2 is Roy and NOW UPDATED TO ADD OLIVER AS CHAPTER 3. Marking this as complete at least until the next episode airs! :)
1. Chapter 1

**Everybody Lies**

**AN** – Still feeling the darkness of the current season but I had to write about Thea's recent comment to Oliver as that has just stuck in my brain. Also, I slipped this one by my beta so prepare yourself for more mistakes than normal but I hope you can ignore them and enjoy anyway – that goes for you too, Mic! :)

**DISCLAIMER** – I haven't won the lottery (yet) nor do I own Arrow (yet)…..I figure both are just as likely to happen, right?!

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"You're the only one in my life who doesn't lie to me Ollie." I tossed it out carelessly as I dared to hope he would agree with it even as I dreaded the possibility that he might deny it. Neither happened though and he just gave me that smile that is more like a grimace…the look in his eyes was that of a dog I once saw the gardener try to help.

I was seven years old and I still remember it as if it was yesterday which is weird considering all the tragedies that happened after that. The dog was a scraggly mutt and it had clearly been in a fight as it was covered in blood and limping. My nanny shooed me away as she tried to help the gardener but I didn't leave. Instead I hid around the corner and watched as the poor dog alternated between a snarling growl and a crying yelp as they tried to help it. I remember its eyes were wild, scared, hopeful and just seeing it made me cry.

Seeing Ollie sometimes also makes me cry as his eyes have the same wild, scared, hopeful look. I was so happy when he returned from that island that it took me a longer than it should have to see that he no longer smiled or laughed. I knew he was hiding stuff from me but I didn't considering that lying – he just needed time to work through a lot of crap.

Then he got better for a while when Felicity Smoak and John Diggle were suddenly always with him. I didn't question him on how weird that looked because I was just happy that he was happy and I had my brother back in some small way. I told myself then that everything would be ok but then there was the destruction of the Glades and everything fell apart again.

Ollie left but he returned (I still believe it was Felicity and John who brought him back but I have no proof of that), Mom was arrested but she survived her trial, I had Roy and the Club so I again I told myself that everything would be ok. I was so happy to have survived all that crap and put my life back together that it took longer than it should have to see that Mom was still hiding something. It took longer than it should have to see that Ollie avoided her. It took longer than it should have to see that Roy avoided me and that he was hiding something.

I gave them all time – time to work through their crap and talk to me but none of them did. No one in my life talks to me at all! I know they think they are protecting me but I don't need their protection. _I need the truth!_

I have watched them all hide the truth from me. I've watched Ollie and Mom avoid each other's eyes and even avoid being near the other but both tell me everything is ok. I've even watched Ollie and Roy exchange looks now when before they avoided each other like the plague. I've watched Roy avoid my eyes and walk away…and he walks to Ollie...Ollie who still has Felicity and John at his side, Ollie who now has Sara back from the dead. _What do I have? I have nothing, no one – I only have the lies._

For a moment the anger breaks free and I looked away from my brother. This time it was me hiding the truth from him. I guess everybody lies though because in just a moment I looked back, I smiled and I told him I will be ok before I walked away.

As I walked away I remembered the look in the dog's eyes, the look in Oliver's eyes and I couldn't help but wonder if Ollie saw that same wild, scared, hopeful look in my eyes when I lied to him.

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**AN2 **- I would like to Roy's POV as well as the original Team Arrow POVs as I think there are things they are all lying about either to each other or themselves! As always I'm open to your suggestions so review or PM me if you have an idea!


	2. Chapter 2 - Roy

**Everybody Lies Ch 2 – Roy**

**AN** – Thank you all for the encouraging reviews as well as faves and follows! I know this isn't my typical story but I'm kinda lost in the current season 2 darkness! This chapter stays dark, a little angsty, and I'm sorry for that but it's all I've got right now! :( I miss Olicity though and remain hopeful for the future even if I can't write the fluff and goodness just yet!

**DISCLAIMER** – Definitely no ownership of Arrow!

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The bracelet crushed easily in my hand - it was even easier to break Thea's heart tonight though. Oliver didn't make me do it but it would be a lie to say I'm not angry, that I don't blame him. I've been sitting here since I made Thea walk away and I feel as out of control as Oliver thinks I am, I feel as dangerous as he thinks I am.

I know I have to give up Thea because I'm a danger to her but he's a danger to her too. He's _hurting_ her too! Slade Wilson is targeting Thea because of Oliver - _not me_. But Oliver Queen gets to keep everything - he gets to keep his sister, his girlfriend, and even 'Team Arrow'.

He doesn't have to give up anything while I have to give up everything! Oliver is still surrounded by people who know his secrets and have his back anyway despite what he's done, despite what he's capable of and I sit here alone. Even Felicity and Diggle left me tonight...I know their first loyalty is to Oliver, so is Sara's. Oliver comes first for all of them. But I have to give up the one person in my life who has my back, the one person who loves me.

Oliver understands fighting the darkness within, he's got to understand how much I need Thea with her light, her goodness, her love. God knows Oliver wouldn't give up Felicity even though he's a danger to her! He lets her make the choice to stay here with us even though she has no ability to protect herself. He doesn't give her up but I have to give up Thea! I've had to lie to Thea, not just for me but for him. I still can't tell her the truth even now - I avoid her eyes, I move toward the Team and I leave the girl I love alone.

My phone beeps and I know its Felicity checking on me – I guess everybody lies though as I respond to her text and tell her I'm home and fine. The Team checks in frequently now with Slade still out there so I know I'll hear from Diggle soon and probably Oliver. I'll lie to them too and tell them I'm fine but I'm still sitting in front of Felicity's computers, I'm still replaying Thea leaving in tears tonight and I'm definitely _not_ fine.

But I will continue to lie. When Felicity asks (again) if I'm ok I'll lie and say I am. When Oliver asks if I'm ready to go into the field again I'll lie and say I am. When Diggle asks if I have it under control I'll lie and say I do. When Thea looks through me and pretends I don't exist I'll lie to myself and say it's ok.

For a moment the anger breaks free and the bracelet crumbles even more in my hand. Oliver comes in at just that moment and he stares at the bracelet but before he asks I lie and tell him I'm fine. As I walk away I feel him watching me and I wonder if he sees Slade when he looks at me – does he see someone who lost love because of him, does he see someone who is out of control, does he see someone he will need to drive an arrow through to stop?

I can feel my muscles tense and bunch as if expecting his attack and I can't help but wonder what he sees and what he's willing to do. I don't know what I'm willing to do…I don't know if I am strong enough to stay away from Thea and follow Oliver. Part of me does blame him, part of me is angry and part of me wants to lash out at him for taking away the woman I love. For now though, I lie and repeat that I'm fine and I'll back tomorrow before I walk out the door.

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**AN2** – I hope to write Oliver before the new show tomorrow as I find myself fascinated with what he may be facing now despite my annoyance with him and his choices! Always feel free to share your thoughts and ideas! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3 - Oliver

**Everybody Lies Ch 3 – Oliver**

**AN** – I've been saying I've decided to embrace the darkness of the current season and I've been very cleverly reminded that once you let the darkness inside, it never leaves [insert evil laugh here]! :) Definitely some darkness here but hopefully some redemption too!

**DISCLAIMER** – Nope, no change from yesterday, I do NOT own CW's Arrow!

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As I watch Roy leave I see him tense, hold his breath and pause as if ready for an attack before he again lies and says he is fine. Alone now, I stand in the 'Arrow Cave' they helped me create and can't help but wonder if we are all lying to each other, to ourselves. I brought this Team together, I told them _my_ secret, and I let them all face danger to be close to _me_, to help me on _my_ mission. If I am the leader of this group then its hardly surprising that we are all lying now. Everybody lies but I've lied to everybody.

Tonight, I faltered when Thea said I was the only person in her life that doesn't lie to her. I couldn't decide if I should lie and allow her to feel safe or if I should tell her the truth and allow her to really know me. In the end I did neither and she walked away in tears.

Sara came then and I stumbled again. I did tell her she did good when she spared Helena and she did. She responded by asking if that wasn't what heroes are supposed to do. I couldn't decide if I should lie and allow her to feel safe thinking I am a hero or if I should tell her the truth and allow her to really know me. In the end I did neither but just kissed her before she walked away to protect Laurel.

I then saw Roy and the bracelet he had given Thea still held crushed in his head. In that moment, I didn't see Slade reflected in Roy but I did see myself, the better part of myself. Roy is trying to be good, trying to be a hero and he loves Thea enough to give her up to protect her. He is angry about it and I know he was lying though when he said he was fine but I don't think he was lying when he said he would be back. I recognize his look of pain, guilt, and anger as I've seen it on my face often enough – I still see it now. He's strong enough to walk away from Thea and I've got to believe he's strong enough to be a hero. I am the one who told him he had to leave her but I wonder if he realizes he made a sacrifice I can't bring myself to make.

_Felicity_. I can't help moving to her chair and hovering over it as I picture her in my mind. I can't bear too many images though and have to turn away quickly but not quickly enough to keep my heart from pounding in my chest. She is so good, so light that its almost painful to be near her but still I draw close, I still keep her near. I lie to myself that it doesn't hurt me, that it doesn't hurt her. I know she deserves more and I know she's the one I've lied to the most but I can't bear to completely set her free. If I was the hero they all believe and want me to be then I would push her away, I would set her free but I lie to us both and keep her next to me.

I lie to Felicity, I lie to Sara, I lie to Diggle, I lie to Roy, I lie to Thea…I even lie to myself. I lie every time I put the hood, Shado's hood, on. I lie every time I pretend to be a hero, to be better than what I am.

I am the one who has failed the City. I am the one who has failed my family, Shado, Slade, my Team…Felicity.

I wonder what they see when they look at me. Does Felicity still see the hero she wanted me to be, does she still see a man worthy of her love? Does Diggle still see a brother in arms fighting the good fight, does he still see someone worthy of being called a friend? Does Roy still see the Vigilante who inspired him to want to fight for the city himself, does he still see someone worthy of following? Does Sara still see "Ollie" who invited her on the Gambit despite her sister, does she see the man from the Island who learned to kill, does she still see the hero that she wants to be as well? Does Thea see her big brother who will do anything to protect her, does she still see someone she believes tells her the truth? Does Slade still see that rich, spoiled boy he trained on the Island, does he see the man Shado loved instead of him, does he see the parts of me that are like him?

I realize I'm still clutching Felicity's chair even though I have turned away, even now I still try to keep her close and really much of this is about her. She made me different and made me want to be better but I can't change my destiny, not even for her. I won't allow myself to burden her by telling her this, by telling her what I want instead of what must be. My path was determined when I chose Sara and Shado died. I had a few moments with Felicity, with Diggle before the past recaptured me, before Sara and Slade returned from the dead but those moments are in the past now.

Now, in the present, I lie to the very people who saved me, who made me better, who followed even as they led me. I know I have hurt them but I can't allow Felicity or Diggle to follow me now. I don't want my future to be theirs.

I know Slade nor I will survive what's coming and I don't believe we deserve a future. I do believe Felicity and Diggle deserve a future though and I will do everything I can to ensure that they are safe. I haven't done much good since I left the Island but I did somehow manage to bring this Team Arrow together – a good team, a team of heroes. I need them to carry on after me, to be better than me so they can be a force of good and save the city. I need the darkness and lies to end with me.

For now though, I will keep lying to them and I'll keep lying to myself about what might have been.

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**AN2** – Not sure if I will continue as its time for another new episode and I hope we leave the darkness and move on but who knows?! :) BTW, I also got some wonderful ideas from you guys so I hope to try those out very soon (still hoping for inspiration from the next new episode)! Always feel free to review or PM me if you have suggestions!


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